Monthly Archives: January 2012

Stranded with no money and no gas… I can scratch that off the bucket list.

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Stranded may be a bit of an exaggeration, but that’s how I felt tonight. After leaving a late meeting my gas light went off, so I figured I’d run a quick errand then stop for gas and head home (home being thirty minutes from town – where I was). I pull into Target reach into my bag… no wallet… um… it’s kind of a big thing to miss… it’s got to be in that Mary Poppins bag of mine… turn on the light… nope… still… nothing. Okay, I thought, no big deal, I can run my errand tomorrow. Start driving in the direction of home… glance at my dashboard… oh.crap.my.gas. Yep, no way that amount of nothingness was going to get me home tonight. Still, wasn’t too stressed, I’d just call my brother ask him to bring me a few dollars so I could get home. Ring… ring… ring… ring… ring… ring… ring… ring… ring… ring…………….. (okay… another exaggeration, but this is how it felt). Stress level rising. I looked in my center console, my glove box, my coat pocket, my purse again just to see if maybe by chance I had left any money out of my wallet at some point. Nope, no luck. Stress level still rising. I call my sister. Plus side, she answered… Down side, she lives and hour away and Sheetz can’t accept payment over the phone (understandable and I don’t knock your policy, no sarcasm, lady behind the counter was nice) Stress level rising even more… Down-down side, I may have cried in the gas station out of A. frustration and B. embarrassment (yep, I’m a girl and yep, I cried… even more embarrassing, I know) Stress level extremely high… Major -up side, nice business man offered to put $5 on pump 3 for me. You are amazing… seriously, thank you.

Out of all the feelings I felt tonight, most important… I hope I can return the kind favor to someone in need that this gentleman offered to me. Not that I wish for someone to have no money and no gas and have no way of getting gas to get home, but I hope that I’m in the right place at the right time to offer a kind gesture to someone who really needs a helping hand. This I’ll add to my bucket list and look forward to the day that I can return the favor.

Thank you mister nice business man, whoever you are, you helped me get home tonight. I hope something really good comes your way and soon. :)

I need to be polarized

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The g-chat of hope:

me: https://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?v=10150488721111751
can you see this?? This made me think of you

Pretty lady who shall remain nameless: hahaha that’s so me, crawling through the mud then a proposal hahah

me:  awe it may have also made me think of playing king of the mountain with him tackling me and hiding me behind the mound of dirt to kiss me…    that was a cute moment… we had cute moments… damn him. stupid d-bag haha
Pretty lady who shall remain nameless: awww when was that?… that’s adorable
me: right before he asked me to be his girlfriend when they were digging up his property to build the foundation
Pretty lady who shall remain nameless: omg adorable
me: lets go find some cute moments pretty lady
Pretty lady who shall remain nameless: let’s sneak up on those cute moments
me: oh hey moments who you hiding from we gonna get youuuu
Pretty lady who shall remain nameless: let’s go to south dakota….there are sweeties there right?
me: south dakota? really?
Pretty lady who shall remain nameless: hahah I dunno where do nice boys live?
 me:  you’re asking me?
 Pretty lady who shall remain nameless: HAHAH
 me: I’m the queen of  d-bags… a d-bag magnet to be exact………I need to be polarized.
 Pretty lady who shall remain nameless: HAHAHAH

Thanks for putting your faith into my ability or knowledge of where sweet guys hang… but, let’s be honest.

The Greater The Risk (with more than one meaning)

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Packed in a creepster van with instruments, a fair amount of equipment, 4 band guys, one talented young lady, annnnd my bee slippers (yes I said bee slippers… keep reading and I’ll kindly introduce you) we made our way north on I-95 towards New York.Yep, my groupie status may have hopped up a notch this weekend. It’s cool, they’re my friends… I was their first fan… literally, but that’s another story… this one is good too, or at least I think so (is that like laughing at your own jokes?… gosh I hope not, because if so… that makes my stories pretty lame… I do laugh at my own jokes though… dang it). Anyway! Focus! Back to the van…

Now don’t get the wrong idea, while my trip was not fully planned out past the fact that I knew I needed to be in New York this particular weekend, (the greater the risk… the more fun the trip (sometimes))… there was no hitch-hiking involved (see parents, I’m a pretty reasonable child, I don’t take rides from strangers… please enjoy a proud moment here) just maybe a Facebook stalk or two of a few wall posts back and forth between a couple Ashleys that may have involved a really rad band tour along the northeast coast with possibly 6 inches to spare for an extra booty in exchange for a video camera at their Angels & Kings debut in the Lower East Side. I so kindly volunteered myself (or invited myself… however you wish to view it) for this fantastic adventure north, well because of course, I had ulterior motives (it’s cool, they know)… and what’s a road trip without me? (Yes… inappropriate cockiness, please pretend you never read that… strike through & re-read).

What ulterior motives? Oh so funny you should ask (I was going to tell you anyway). You see, Jan. 17th was one of my best friend’s… let’s call him J-Weavs… birthday, his 25th to be exact. Now since we were sophomores in college, I’ve graciously par-taken in these outrageous celebrations each year and I realized this would be the first I would miss… how could I miss this one? Nope not gonna happen. “Here’s the plan…” whispers MJ-Lucy into the phone, “I’ll get J-Weavs into Doc Holliday’s, distract him as you walk in, you come tap him on the shoulder and confuse the poor guy!” Done. Good ol’ J-Weavs never saw it coming. Fantastically planned. Hats off to you MJ-Lucy, an accomplished actor you are. A few beers and many bourbon & Cokes later, J-Weavs, MJ-Lucy, Ash-key & I  found ourselves participating in old Richmond antics of leaving outrageous voicemails to those innocent bystanders so sadly missing out (we will not apologize for the inappropriateness of these messages), getting asked to close our tabs because we were being… well too “Richmond,” and 4:30am scavenger hunts back to the world of spanish music and turkey sandwiches in the snow.

This weekend, New York literally became a Richmond playground for The Greater The Risk (like them on Facebook, they’re awesome), J-Weavs, MJ-Lucy, Ash-key, and me. Even Lady Liberty decided to come out to play. BOOP. (Watch Superbad if you’re lost… or refer to the life and times of Re-Becky & Em for further explanation of the disastrous dangers of booping). I must say, these cities, get me every time… they make it harder and harder to return back to my stomping ground of crickets and star-gazing (as peaceful as that is), my bees for one sure do enjoy the socialization…

Thank goodness for band vans, groupie supporters (aka The Greater The Risk – you all are wonderful), the mega-bus, birthdays and sneaky college friends that are up for surprising clueless J-Weavs. NYC = success.

(Now, let me introduce you to my bee slippers… I hope you aren’t too disturbed… I swear I’m sane, they’re just too cute not to travel with):

Channeling the Honey Badger

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What do the San Francisco 49ers, a Chicago girl’s night, Steve Harvey, and the Honey Badger all have in common? Please let me explain.

Well it all began with a book, a Steve Harvey book to be exact. Some of you may have heard of it: ”Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.” Now this book was given to me by my mother shortly after my last relationship ended (evidently even she thinks I have no game – no, not offended at all…). As I began discussing the idea of this book with my Chicago friend, who shall remain nameless, we found humor in it. If Steve Harvey wrote a book on relationships (and wait… there’s even a movie now… this man is genius I tell you), it must be entertaining to say the least. Well the more we pondered this concept “Act like a lady, think like a man,” the more we realized how wrong all of us females truly were in the dating game. AH! Epiphany! Why don’t we host a summit over the holidays in Chicago at the Hyatt Regency for all those fine ladies that just don’t have a clue, suggested pretty lady who shall remain nameless from Chicago. Uh duh… why didn’t I think of this?! (Okay, so this may not be on my bucket list, but I’m pretty sure I always wanted to host a summit on relationships… who wouldn’t?) We’re perfectly capable at teaching this concept… certified even, (by way of book reading and Steve Harvey mimicking).

So this is where the honey badger (Oh the honey badger is just craazeeey… it’s pretty badass) comes in… Now for those of you who don’t know these fabulous Narrations by Randall… you should catch yourself up to speed. I was sent this YouTube video a long time ago and tend to reference it in random conversation in hopes of channeling the Honey Badger’s spirit and bold behavior, often bringing looks of “is this girl sane” to many faces. But Honey Badger don’t care, so why should I? In planning this “summit” of ours we decided it was necessary for a review process to demonstrate how to “act like a lady and think like a man.” In fear of backing down to the challenge and letting these fine Chicago ladies down without a proper “how to” lesson, pretty lady who shall remain nameless and I decided we would channel the Honey Badger… (Honey Badger don’t care, it just takes what it wants). Now this became the overwhelming theme of the trip. If anything went wrong, we asked ourselves WWHBD (What Would Honey Badger Do… for those of you still trying to sound out the acronym). It seems we were not alone in this thinking.

Da da de daaaaa… Now for the 49er’s grand entrance to my long drawn out story…

Have you seen their strategy? This coach has won over my heart. Yes sir, you have. While I fell in love with SF (the city) a few years ago, I can’t say I was ever a 49er’s fan until this moment (click the link it’ll all make sense… well almost, let me also add  that Steve Harvey compares his book to the opponent’s (the male species) playbook… Coming around full circle… now does it make sense? Good, I thought it would). Actually, while I’m quite the Saints fan (please Saints earmuffs for what I’m about to proclaim) I do believe their story swept me off my feet. Talk about adventure, true channeling of the Honey Badger… you are my heroes.

And I leave you with Narrations By Randall. Happy Hunting!

The Cure.

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The cure to any bad day… Chocolate shake, McDonald’s Dollar Menu, ibprofen, and mixed cds that your high school ex-boyfriends made you. Preferably those mixs that included tunes from Taking Back Sunday, Dashboard Confessional, and Jimmy Eat World (Feel free to judge, I’m secure in my music appreciation). The information contained on the site is not sufficient or provided in order to diagnose, cure, prevent or treat any health-related symptoms or diseases, or to prescribe any medication. While all symptoms may vary, mine are most importantly focused on. Please note this does not coincide with my bucket list - see all other posts for further information.

Why I’d never survive an online dating site…

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So the new wave is to hop online, shop around, and find yo-self a new man just like those pair of Jimmy Choo’s you bought on eBay from shoemaniac867 last night after 22 hours of clicking refresh to make sure you outbid jcsbiggestfan01. Unfortunately (or I think fortunately… as guys are very different from shoes)… I’m a bit behind on this new fad. I just can’t see myself hopping on Match.com or eHarmony to find my soul mate no matter how convincing, heart throbbing, or fairy-tale-esque those commercials make the process out to be…you are still sitting online just scrolling through pages of pictures “shopping.” Have we really become that lazy? (Wait that was harsh… sorry). Seriously though, I’m not necessarily knocking those who do it… but why is it that our culture has become so consumed with being “busy” (or maybe I don’t need quotations there), that we expect everything… even our soul mates at the snap of a finger. Don’t you miss the excitement of meeting someone new through some coincidence and wondering if it’s fate (like that movie Seredipidty… not going to lie, I want to try that sometime… what happened to the day of writing phone numbers in random books and letting the guy search for years to find it before being able to call you… how romantic… yep, those were the days).

Our society has justified the online dating to such a high extent that you no longer blink an eye when someone boldly says, “I met him on Match.com.” Knowing in reality this really means, “I looked through his pictures, attempted to read between the lines of his profile, fell for his exaggerated description, looked past the fact that he didn’t look like his picture, ignored the red flags that screamed I live in my mom’s basement and torture little girls in the corn field after dark… basically I stalked him, but it’s cool… because the commercials tell me it’s romantic.”

I just don’t get it… I think I’ll give the Lemon Law (talk about bucket list worthy – that’s change for America, Barney Stinson style) a go-around before I attempt online dating 101.

Chicago.

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Chicago is by far my favorite city out of all cities I’ve visited thus far (which doesn’t mean it can’t still be beat, but it’s a tough one… so cities, you better step up your game in 2012). Since my very first visit when I was about 11 with my mom, sister, and brother, I was hooked. I was fascinated by how nice everyone was, how clean the city appeared, and the weather… incredible (of course it was Summertime… so I was clueless to the reality of this statement). When two of my best friends moved there about three years ago, I cannot even begin to express how envious I was (and still am). However, I benefit from this (muhahah… evil plan inserted here), I now have a place to stay when I’m needing a get-a-way or an escape from reality – and what better place to escape – sorry guys, you’re stuck with me. Between my last two trips, I have experienced a side of Chicago I had never met before… (now hooked is just an understatement).

These people I’ve met make my desire to stay longer that much stronger. Their electrifying personalities, contagious giggling, outrageous jokes, obscene adventures, and laid back attitudes are like none I’ve stumbled across before. There is this lack of fear or care of how they may come across to the world, they are who they are, regardless. This I admire.

Back in October when I was there with my married & engaged amazingly-awesome friends we were all planning an adventurous exploration of speed dating for the meer fact that I wanted to write about this experience. Seriously that was the reasoning and my friends are that awesome that they were willing to play along, take their rings off and entertain my curiosities (thanks friends you rock). However, upon looking into it we realized it was $50?! Oh heck no… sorry it’s not that serious. Still I was bummed, I was really looking forward to the alias we each had, the outfits we’d discussed, and our stories we had developed… oh well, just wasn’t meant to be.

But of course “just wasn’t meant to be” didn’t keep me from harping over my disappointment (yep, I brought it up on more than one occassion… get over it and welcome to my life). Just so happened I mentioned it to the “wrong” (or right depending on how you look at it) person. I explained my blog idea and development, my want to go speed dating, and my excitement for getting back into writing again. He stopped mid-step at an intersection, pointed to an abandoned table and a closed bar. “So let’s do it, you wanna speed date, what’s stopping you, there’s a table. Get your story straight, turn your camera on and sit down.” Ha. Talk about being put on the spot. I sure do talk a big game, never had someone really hold me to my shenanigans. Okay… crap, forgot my story. Time for a new one. (It sucked, not gonna lie, very uninventive and unoriginal… oh well. roll with it.)

Disclaimer: if you can’t handle adult language, sarcasm, dark humor, or made-up obscene stories – this video is not for you – sorry, the truth hurts.

 

Be the exception.

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Tell me, what are your thoughts on girl movies? You know the ones with unrealistic fairy tales that sweep you off of your feet, grip your heart, jerk your tears from your pretty little eyes like Mickey Mouse in that Fantasia scene where he is conducting the brooms with buckets of water (yes this is where my mind goes when I think of those tear-jerking movies…uhg.that.evil.Mickey… wait, is that possible for Mickey to be evil? Okay, sorry back on track…).

You know what I’m talking about though, right? (If you don’t please just nod your head and keep reading regardless, I’m hoping to improve your imagination here). Well, I was “forced” into finally watching that movie “He’s Just Not That Into You” the other day… and let’s just say I walked away a little less than excited… or a not-so-much of a heart racing feeling (more like a heart thud). I realized it’s true, my friend was so right… I’m somewhat of a version of that main character. (She politely said the main character was an exaggerated version of me… but I disagree, I say just take out the word exaggerated and you hit the nail on the head). While yes, all girls have these moments of “maybe my phone isn’t getting his texts, I’ll just text him ten more times… just ten… just to be sure.” (don’t even lie to yourself girrrrl and say you haven’t done this, ya know you have).

I’m definitely the girl (as I learned in this movie) that thinks life is one big fairy tale, which may be why I hate watching girl movies, they get my hopes up (damn all you writers… you can just go to hell now thank you). See I was ruined from day 1. It dates all the way back to Cinderella. Ha. I actually wanted to be proposed to with a glass slipper (no exaggeration). While my dreams have changed about Prince Charming, it partly killed me to watch this movie because I do truly want to love with everything inside of me, I don’t want to play the game, I never have wanted to play the game, it’s stupid. What’s wrong with being honest and open? (Guys feel free to interject your objections at this point). I’ve gone back and forth in my head about this and you see part of me says, “change. stop giving everything you have because you’ll run out of everything eventually… make them earn it, give a little teaser to your personality, that’s it. that’s all they deserve. they don’t appreciate anything anyway.” But then, I think about it and that just wouldn’t make me happy (yes, I do it all for selfish reasons). Oddly enough, I actually enjoy giving, doing, making, creating, loving, sharing (any more -ing’s I’m missing?)… Basically, I get a high from making people happy. Whether I actually do or not, I enjoy the process of trying. So holding this back in any relationship, friend or more, just leaves me empty.

So help me out here… Letting my walls down for a moment. I always will have that hopeless romantic stuck down deep inside and yeah maybe I’m still hanging onto the idea that some guy will see that in me and cling to it like every guy before said I wouldn’t find. Maybe I’m waiting for the day that the guy appreciates my desire to please people, understands it, and admires it. Maybe my dreams of a fairy tale ending will never completely go away. And maybe I know all of this sounds absolutely silly (and maybe a tad bit ridiculous) when I say it out loud, but am I really the only person that has a spec of hope similar to anything like this? Every girl wants to be the exception, every girl deserves to be an exception… not just the rule. But that’s just a thought.

2012… Live a little

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It’s a new year and in many eyes that means it’s the opportunity to make a change. While it seems as though people start the new year with good intentions, most tend to wander off that path (ignore how unscientific this is… still illustrates my point haha) after only giving it a trial run for a month into the new year. This year my resolution is to channel a specific postcard from postcardsfromgusto.com that my sister sent me on my birthday back in October. 

 

I have this post card sitting on my desk as a reminder of how I should live my life. These words move through me day in and day out so that I can continue to remind myself to:

“Have fun. Let go. Dance, Skip, Leave early. Take a walk in the middle of the day. Sing. Move. Celebrate. Draw someone closer. Take a risk. Laugh. Leave it. Love with more zest. Take deeper breaths. Make a mess. Try less and play more. Surprise someone. Surprise yourself. Be led by your spirit. Imagine. Dream. Break a rule. Say yes often. Get butterflies. Hug with both arms. And oh… Fall deeper in love with your life.”

Day 1 of 2012 looked a little like this:

 
Here’s to dancing… Thanks Gusto (and Martina) for the inspiration.