Category Archives: Education

You’re the social media person… own it.

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I struggle often with the balance between writing what I think or feel and writing what I know will be received well. These last few months I’ve struggled a lot with what is and isn’t appropriate for this blog, which has resulted in a lot of not writing. It’s strange that I can coach other people on being open and honest, but I, myself, struggle to achieve the perfect level of vulnerability.

This past week I received the most bizarrely-blunt advice that I could have ever needed to hear, changing my outlook on how my life is slowly piecing together. It continues to play over in my ears and I’m still trying to figure out what that means for me.

I’ve found myself becoming more distant recently from friends and people I have always had a strong connection with because there is so much doubt in what I’m doing and my recent life choices. All of which have been hard for me to swallow because I feel like I used to provide a strong support for others, that I just can’t understand the lack of support I have recently received. Maybe it’s all my perception and projection of my insecurities… that’s quite possible. Regardless, the cutting words I hear often each day (whether said with malicious intent or not) have worn deeply on my spirit and it wasn’t really until my coffee meeting last week that I understood how somewhat lonely of a life I may be choosing. Yet, if given the option, I’d choose this path each time over and over again.

So few people will ever understand my decisions, my desires, or my goals. That is out of my control. What is in my control is my reaction to this lack of understanding.  Instead of feeling hurt or bullied out of doing what makes my heart feel whole, I need to continue to seek out others who have been through what I’m experiencing: those that have chosen a path of work-life integration, those that are working close to 80 hours a week to avoid the 40-hour workweek, those that understand the desire to have more than a job, but instead this rare lifestyle that I’m so determined to obtain.

The path to independent working is a long, yet very worthwhile, road. It’s my path of choice, and the only option my life will accept. It’s a matter of ignoring the assumptions, judgment, and ill commentary. Instead, finding empowerment in knowing what I do makes a difference; empowerment in knowing one day I will contribute to increased efficiencies in communication and business interactions.

When I let people impose their judgments on my lifestyle, I need to remember… it’s just not acceptable. It’s not worth missing deadlines because I’m keeping to-do lists on sticky notes that I continually lose all because I’m too afraid of pulling my phone out when in the public eye for fear of the never-ending jokes of my “addiction” to technology. I need to remember to remind myself of that bizarrely-blunt and needed advice I got that day: “You’re the social media person. Own it. And to hell with them.”

“Why are you trying so hard to fit in, when you are born to stand out” 

Breathe in, breathe out… and move on.

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“Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It’s not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument, or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make, period.”

This morning when I was scrolling through Facebook, I stumbled across this quote. At first I read it and wasn’t impressed… but then re-read it and let it sink in on my drive to work. I needed to read this. I needed to think about it. And I needed to embrace it.

I’ve been frustrated recently because “so and so is being difficult,” or “so and so is too negative,” or “my work is too demanding,” or “my job isn’t what I want it to be,” or “I don’t live where I want to live…” and how the list tends to drag on. But the key here is, I am able and responsible for how I choose to let these factors affect me. It is true, I am responsible for my decisions and only I am to blame for how I allow myself to react or feel about any given situation. Sure, situations may provoke me or open the door for poor response… but I need to work on my reaction and my awareness of what I do have control over.

This is a hard realization for me because I do take everything (and I mean EVVERRRRR-Y-Thing) to heart (y’all that know me, know). My insecurities influence my feelings to think that every nasty, negativity is targeting me. That I matter so much (or so little) that every whisper is a judgment of me, every short response is a jab or has deeper meaning. I need to work on trusting in who I am and what I stand for in order to feel at peace with my surroundings. When I feel as though the world is closing in on me and suffocating my every move, I need to learn how to breathe, breathe deeply and remind myself that I do have control of my decisions. I have the ability to make something more out of what I’m given.

I think it’s time for me to breathe in… breathe out… and move on.

The single learning from the married: How to get free drinks…

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Guys always say that girls have it so easy when we go out because we don’t have to pay for anything. Well this girl right here has never really had that luck. Me being one of the few single ones in the group was puzzled by the fact that the married ladies got free drinks long before a guy even looked vaguely in my direction. What’s the deal? Is it that whole single-must-be-desperate vibe radiating off my skin? Is an immediate alert sent out when I walk in a room “[sound sirens] Stage 5 Clinger on the loose! Abort! Abort! I repeat stage 5 clinger on the loose!”

Finally one night, I felt an urgency (because this is important in the life of a woman, evidently) to learn the trade… “adventure woman, what is your secret?!” So adventure woman decided to walk pretty lady who shall remain nameless and me through the 7 rules of how to get a guy to buy you a drink. I must say, Chicago (once again) was blindsided by the trio-storm that happened that weekend. And I must admit, girl’s got skills… we only paid for one drink all weekend. How about them apples.

Enjoy!

 

Everything happens for a reason

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Yes, I’m that annoying voice in your ear when something goes wrong saying, “you know, everything happens for a reason… it’ll all work out in the end, and if it hasn’t, then it’s not yet the end.” However, I know…it’s a lot easier said than done. I definitely have my moments where I whine and cry, “but whhyyyy me? Whhhyyyyy me?!” Yes… anyone who knows me, can generally attest this is pretty accurate. Yet, once I’ve gotten a good “ICK, is this real life?” out of my system, I think to myself, “you know, you sure do preach a lot of hot air with that ‘everything happens for a reason’ nonsense, maybe you should just breath and listen to that advice yourself.” So I breath (sometimes too quickly… almost hyperventilating… then remind myself to breath … slowly, slowly being the key word)… and I focus on the pieces as if my life were one gigantic puzzle with really itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny pieces that have those shapes to them that are awfully difficult to piece together easily (you know what I’m talking about, don’t you?)… but I’m determined to make it fit. So I focus or at least attempt to… and possibly (in the mean time) tell a few more people “everything happens for a reason” in order to try to convince myself it’s true.

-breathe-

Then I find myself in a day like today… where you see the pieces from another angle and magically your eyes can see the pattern more clearly with a crisp alignment. That moment is one of the best feelings I’ve felt in a long time. It’s like everything that has happened over the last year or so almost instantly made sense. I now can appreciate each piece for what it’s been, how it fits into this puzzle of a life, why some pieces didn’t fit where I wanted them to, and why other pieces didn’t quite fit yet… Evidently, I was missing some of those key connecting pieces (you know the ones with goofy shapes on all sides… not one of those easy corner pieces).

Ah ha! moment happened. That light is on. Watch out life puzzle… moving full speed ahead.

Who am I again?

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Super cheesy, I know… but it’s true.

Most of the time I feel like I’m moving forward at a speed I can’t keep up with (in a good way), I feel like I’ve accomplished so much in the past few months that I never could have imagined possible. Yet, some days I still find myself feeling those bitter feelings when I’m in certain situations or reminded of where I thought my life was going… that feeling just creeps up, like hives (bleh… gross).

Does that bitter feeling ever go away? I honestly am quite tired of feeling those negative things and I know my friends are most likely beyond tired of hearing about them.

I mean, I am finally in a place in my life where I want to be single. Regardless of those occasional lingering bitter feelings, it’s literally the first time I think I’ve ever felt content with being single. That may sound silly (because it is), but in all honesty, I guess I’m somewhat of a serial monogamous and absolutely a hopeless romantic. But after 25 1/2 years, I’ve come to the conclusion (oh wait, here’s the kicker) I need to figure me out a LOT more before I can figure anyone else out (no matter how much I enjoy dissecting the male brain… ha, sick, I know, who actually enjoys that?).

Wow, imagine that, what a realization. (Do you hear my sarcasm?… Okay sister-friend, you can now say: “I told you so.” Go ahead, I’m giving you permission).

Just gonna keep looking forward. Gosh, 25 is such an awkward age. Thank God I’m almost 26… oh wait… is that a good thing? Ha… Guess I’ll have to let you know…

To be continued?

The motivation I needed to change

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This morning I was scrolling through my Twitter News Feed before work and came across a link to a post that refreshed my mind, gave me new perspective, and helped re-energize my drive in a way I didn’t think was possible by the written word. Timing could not have been more perfect. While I shared this blog post with a few different people after I read it and I posted a link to my Facebook, the more I’ve let my mind think on what J.D. said, the more compelled I am to share it with a larger number of you. It is a rather long entry, but it is worth every minute it takes to read it in its entirety.

As I read through each scenario or example J.D. shared, it hit home on several points that really got me thinking. You see, I’ve been internally struggling recently because I truly fear becoming complacent, I fear settling, I fear failure. I’ve made excuses for why I can’t do those very things I’ve set out to do, I get lost in not understanding how to generate revenue in my career choice, I get caught up in the what-if’s, and most of all I, myself, am my worst hater.

I’ve come to realize that others put more faith in my work and my drive than I do, I’ve allowed myself to not see my potential. I know I’m smart and I know I work hard, but a majority of the time I just see a lot of wheels spinning in place, which I find discouraging. J.D., I’d like to thank you for inspiring me to keep pushing through, to focus, and to make change when I’m not happy — change is okay. I only wish I could have heard you give this speech in person. We have a new addition to the bucket list, I think I’ll add: attend the World Domination Summit in 2013.

Please read, soak in, and be inspired. Make change happen, whatever that may be for you.

(just in case you’ve miss each link to the blog post I’m referring to, here’s one more attempt to encourage you to read it… so READ it! –> The Power of Personal Transformation: Change Your Self, Change the world)

Channeling the Honey Badger

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What do the San Francisco 49ers, a Chicago girl’s night, Steve Harvey, and the Honey Badger all have in common? Please let me explain.

Well it all began with a book, a Steve Harvey book to be exact. Some of you may have heard of it: ”Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.” Now this book was given to me by my mother shortly after my last relationship ended (evidently even she thinks I have no game – no, not offended at all…). As I began discussing the idea of this book with my Chicago friend, who shall remain nameless, we found humor in it. If Steve Harvey wrote a book on relationships (and wait… there’s even a movie now… this man is genius I tell you), it must be entertaining to say the least. Well the more we pondered this concept “Act like a lady, think like a man,” the more we realized how wrong all of us females truly were in the dating game. AH! Epiphany! Why don’t we host a summit over the holidays in Chicago at the Hyatt Regency for all those fine ladies that just don’t have a clue, suggested pretty lady who shall remain nameless from Chicago. Uh duh… why didn’t I think of this?! (Okay, so this may not be on my bucket list, but I’m pretty sure I always wanted to host a summit on relationships… who wouldn’t?) We’re perfectly capable at teaching this concept… certified even, (by way of book reading and Steve Harvey mimicking).

So this is where the honey badger (Oh the honey badger is just craazeeey… it’s pretty badass) comes in… Now for those of you who don’t know these fabulous Narrations by Randall… you should catch yourself up to speed. I was sent this YouTube video a long time ago and tend to reference it in random conversation in hopes of channeling the Honey Badger’s spirit and bold behavior, often bringing looks of “is this girl sane” to many faces. But Honey Badger don’t care, so why should I? In planning this “summit” of ours we decided it was necessary for a review process to demonstrate how to “act like a lady and think like a man.” In fear of backing down to the challenge and letting these fine Chicago ladies down without a proper “how to” lesson, pretty lady who shall remain nameless and I decided we would channel the Honey Badger… (Honey Badger don’t care, it just takes what it wants). Now this became the overwhelming theme of the trip. If anything went wrong, we asked ourselves WWHBD (What Would Honey Badger Do… for those of you still trying to sound out the acronym). It seems we were not alone in this thinking.

Da da de daaaaa… Now for the 49er’s grand entrance to my long drawn out story…

Have you seen their strategy? This coach has won over my heart. Yes sir, you have. While I fell in love with SF (the city) a few years ago, I can’t say I was ever a 49er’s fan until this moment (click the link it’ll all make sense… well almost, let me also add  that Steve Harvey compares his book to the opponent’s (the male species) playbook… Coming around full circle… now does it make sense? Good, I thought it would). Actually, while I’m quite the Saints fan (please Saints earmuffs for what I’m about to proclaim) I do believe their story swept me off my feet. Talk about adventure, true channeling of the Honey Badger… you are my heroes.

And I leave you with Narrations By Randall. Happy Hunting!

Ahem… Check… 1,2… 1,2… is this mic on?

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Speaking in front of people used to be one of my biggest fears. I mean stuttering, turning bright red, awkward hand motions or lack thereof, the whole nine yards. Anything that could possibly be awkward in a presentation, I usually managed to include it (to keep the audience on their toes of course). It was weird though because I could get in front of a group of people and teach them or lead a discussion, but as soon as that word “presentation” was thrown into the mix everything changed… full-blown panic attack action front and center.

Yet, as you can see on my bucket list, one of the things I really wanted was to be asked to speak about social media at a conference. Sick huh? Why would I want to do something that terrified me so much? You probably are wondering (or maybe you aren’t wondering anything, I should probably stop assuming… you know what they say about assuming…), am I one of those freaks that enjoys torturing myself or gets pleasure out of personally positioning myself for public humiliation (go see a therapist, right?)… ha… no, I wanted to be able to take my ability to teach a group of adults and turn that into an opportunity to spread knowledge throughout an even larger audience. It just took a little convincing myself that a presentation was really not much different from teaching, it would just consist of less audience interaction… or I could be creative and dare I say, live on the edge by encouraging audience participation in my presentation (scary, I know), I’ll teeter that edge with practice.

For starters though, I was honored to be asked to participate on a panel discussion of marketing efforts by the community colleges in Virginia at the annual HIRE Education Conference at The Homestead in Hot Springs, Virginia early December as a social media strategist. This was a big deal to me, I had only been with Germanna Community College for eight months when the assistant to the Vice Chancellor of VCCS asked me to create a short presentation and participate in the discussion. Of course, out of natural suppressed anxieties over the word presentation being thrown into that request, I procrastinated so I wouldn’t have to face my fear of developing a presentation (it really is such an ugly word, just nod your head and agree with me please).

So, here’s the thing, I teach social media at the community college, Facebook Marketing for Business, Twitter, Blogging, and LinkedIn… so wouldn’t the bright idea be to compile all of that information and share it with a broader perspective for this particular event? Well duh… that would be the smart thing to do, but of course it took a trashcan full of paper balls (sorry Earth, yes, I know, not so “green” of me… I’ll try harder next time), a number of jumbled thoughts, and a few mirror consultations before the light clicked for me. In the end, I found my pitch, my “why you need social media,” the emotional connection that drives me in social communication, and my voice. While the recording is a little shaky (Apple, how about a tripod for the iPhone?… not nerdy at all, I swear), I wanted to share with you my first “big-girl” presentation and opportunity to speak at a conference of 400+ about social media. Please, give me feedback as I’m sharing this to further improve my presentation skills.

Here’s to another check off my bucket list (and hopefully more opportunities to speak in the future)